Seward’s Folly Reversal Resolves Crimea Crisis

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This is the $7.2M check that Russia cashed when America bought Alaska from Russia. 0bama and Putin announced today, the day after yesterday, yesterday being Seward’s Folly Day in Alaska, an agreement that resolves the CryMeA river crisis. Russia’s bargain basement diplomatic sale of Alaska to America is being reversed, albeit without the causal visitation of the Russian military mites.

The broad terms of the agreement include reverse posting the actual check with the value to be invested in BitCoins. Also, to the relief of 0bama, Sarah Paulin’s American passport was to be exchanged for a USSR passport.

At a joint news conference, 0bama stated, “this redresses a long standing folly imposed on the Russian people by a crazy czarists regime.” Putin responded by poking 0bama in the eye while gleefully proclaiming, “That’s how things work.”

In a surprise development, it was revealed the Paulin is Alaskan for Putin with Sarah actually being Putin’s sister. There are strong rumors that she would be running against her brother to compete for his fourth term in office.

When asked about PaulinNowPutin, SecState Jon Carry spasmed into a giggling fit.

In return for these concessions, Russian troops have removed their uniforms, abandoned their military gear and strolled in loose military formation out of CryMeA. Thus endeth their winter’s vacation.

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One thought on “Seward’s Folly Reversal Resolves Crimea Crisis

  1. I particularly like this part.

    ” The broad terms of the agreement include reverse posting the actual check with the value to be invested in BitCoins. Also, to the relief of 0bama, Sarah Paulin’s American passport was to be exchanged for a USSR passport.”

    Good one Robert.

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